


The Tower

by brightasstars



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Hurt Alec Lightwood, M/M, Minor Character Death, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-17
Updated: 2020-04-17
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:13:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23675176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brightasstars/pseuds/brightasstars
Summary: Magnus is a famous photographer, Alec an important ethologist.Magnus needs something that only Alec can give to him.They meet, they fall in love.But they need to unbury a painful secret before they can have it all.
Relationships: Magnus Bane & Alec Lightwood, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Comments: 42
Kudos: 174
Collections: Hunter's Moon Fic Recs, Shadowhunters Tarot Challenge





	The Tower

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Tarot Fic Challenge - prompt card - The Tower

Magnus Bane was one of the most famous freelance wildlife photographers, specialized in wild animals and dangerous photography.

He had always loved taking pictures since he was a kid. His passion had started when he was in foster care. He used to watch wildlife documentaries or flip through nature magazines and tried to reproduce the animals in their natural environments. 

Then he had discovered photography. Tessa, the lady who had been almost a mother to him, had gifted him her old grandpa’s camera on his 14th birthday.

When he left foster care, he had already learned a lot of photographing skills. He had started working for some nature magazines and paid his dues; until one day, the photographer he was following, had sustained an injury and Magnus had to take the pictures himself.

Those shots had been a success. 

He took the money, bought a set of cameras and a ticket to Patagonia. The National Geographic had pursued his photographs sequencing the lion puma hunting technique and that had been it.

He had never stopped since then.

Unlike other photographers, Magnus didn't like to alter his shots using digital artificial means since he wanted them to be _real_. 

He always caught some grasps of geography, history, customs of the places he was about to visit and he had an eye for details. 

He liked adventure, spoke almost six different languages fluently and was really physically well trained. He could walk for days carrying his rucksack on his back under the sun or in the freezing wind, he could sleep on rocks and ice and take a shot hanging upside down from his ankles.

He had a great life, he was really well paid, had many friends and a lot of one-night stand lovers all around the world.

He got used to working alone since Cat had fallen in love with an Indian guy while they were working in Pakistan on the Bengals' tigers. 

In less than a year she had gotten married and was now expecting a baby.

Magnus missed her. He missed her female point of view when he had to make decisions; her smart and creative perspective; her sassiness and sense of humor and most of all her reliable, grounding and reassuring presence.

Since Cat had moved to live elsewhere, Magnus had never wanted anyone with him.

What about love? 

Magnus was a beautiful man with charming ways, he was a very good talker and a very good listener, he had great taste in clothes, wine, and food. 

Men and women alike seemed to throw themselves straight into his arms still, he hadn't had a stable partner or relationship in years.

He knew how to flirt, to laugh, have good sex, make the most from each moment and then he just disappeared. Every time.

Not that anyone had ever been of particular interest to him.

He had been hurt, badly and had decided that _relationships took too much effort_ , especially if the effort was one-sided.

"Mr. Bane. The chief editor is waiting for you. Follow me." The secretary had a really great ass, Magnus thought while following the young lady along the corridor that led to the office.

He smiled at her when she opened the door to let him in, but she didn't smile back. Her face was a grimace between anger and poshness and that really wouldn't do.

_Great ass, shitty smile. Pity._

"Magnus Bane … good morning." The voice of the chief editor was sibilant and untrustable.

_He wants something._

"Good morning to you Mr. Morgenstern."

"Please, Mr. Bane, have a sit. Would you like something to drink? No? Anything?"

Magnus shook his head. He wouldn't have accepted a piece of bread from that man even if he had been starving.

"And how… how is your friend… the one you used to work with….what was her name?"

"Cat, her name is Cat", Magnus replied a bit annoyed.

"Anyway, Mr. Morgenstern...we both know we're not here to talk about Cat, aren't we? So...since I have a plane scheduled for tomorrow morning at 4 am… would you be so kind as to tell me what is exactly that I am here for?" Magnus' voice has sounded as unpleasant as he had wanted it to be. 

He wanted Mr. Morgenstern to know that he wasn't willing to any kind of deal with him.

"I heard you are traveling to Alaska…to Mr. Lightwood, is that true?"

"Exactly."

"It can't be possible…no one has ever could…"

"Let's just say...I am charming...I know how to ask." Magnus cut him short, not wanting to share any more information.

"I want them all then."

"What?"

"The shots, the pictures, all."

"Absolutely no way. For two reasons. First and foremost, I would never sell you again any of my pictures. Second, I will sell them for a charity event, a fundraising. That said…" he rose up from the chair and headed to the door.

He exited without even saying goodbye.

As he was going down the stairs his phone buzzed. He took it from his pocket and made a huge smile seeing the id.

"Cat! Hi. How are you?"

"Fine Mags. Fine. A bit heavy…" she chuckled, then inhaled a quick short breath and blurted out "it's a girl Mag."

Magnus stopped immediately between the flight of stairs. His heart was stammering and he felt tears welling up in his eyes.

Oh, God! She wasn't even born and she had already stolen his heart.

"Mags? Mags? Are you still there? Are you ok?"

"Ehm… yeah, yes sure it's just that...you caught me by surprise..."

He heard Cat smiling on the other side of the phone.

"Couldn't wait to tell you."

He laughed.

"So ...Madzie?"

"Yeah, Madzie "

Magnus was so happy for her.

"Now _you_ tell me, Magnus Bane. How did you convince that stubborn, grumpy, bad-tempered of Mr. Lightwood to let you in, in his private realm? Did you seduce him sending him a picture of you wearing one of your g strings?" She was laughing.

"Maybe...No, not at all actually.” Magnus was laughing too.

“So how? We had tried a thousand times. How did you even ask him to, since he never answers that damn phone and those damn emails?”

“Maybe I didn’t” Magnus whispered.

“WHAT?!?!?!!?!? You’ve bought a ticket and you’re presenting yourself right there in front of him unannounced?” Cat was shouting “You’re insane Magnus Bane! He’s gonna kick your ass off. And you know it”.

For all the years that they had worked together, Cat had always been the balance for Magnus’ most extravagant ideas; she was the only one that could talk some sense into him, every time he was clearly out of mind.

Magnus took a deep breath and answered “I thought that maybe I could convince him with the fundraising for the charity event…”, he hadn’t already told Cat what he had intended to do with those photographs.

“Charity event? Fundraising? What are you talking about Magnus?”

“My old foster care had received an eviction notice; Tessa called me one week ago. They have to move with all the kids, but they don’t know where to go since they haven’t got enough money to afford anything. If they don’t find a new place in one month, they will take all the kids away from her and place them in other foster cares. So I thought I could sell some of my shots and raise some money for them; to buy a place that they could finally call theirs, with no one threatening them to kick them off. And then, I thought of Lightwood. No one has ever been there before.” 

“Oh, Magnus! That’s… You’re even more wonderful than I had already known. That’s a great idea. I hope he will let you.”

“Yeah, I hope that too. The charity event is in two weeks and… I need to take those shots. I just have to figure out how to approach him… “ his voice had hesitated as if he was clearly thinking about how difficult it would have been.

“Just be yourself, Magnus… the real one… the one that I know, don’t hide, don’t hold back. That man has clearly made some _strange_ choices for himself; I bet he prefers to see the real one, not the façade.”

_Wow!_ Magnus thought. Worse than a mother! 

It was amazing how Cat could switch so easily between being a noisy, sassy, snarky girl to party with and get drunk, into a comforting, mature and wise woman to stand beside you when your choices were the hardest.

“Magnus? Hey… “

“Why do you always have to be so wise???? Anyway, let me go, I need to pack.” 

Magnus closed his phone and went straight home. It was early March, and in this month the killer whales were supposed to head to the Northeast Pacific Ocean. 

He had heard through the grapevine that Lightwood lived in a sort of lighthouse that looked out on the fjord, just where the salty waters met the mountains.

It seemed that he was staying on his own. He was an outstanding ethologist as well as a marine biologist and one of the leading experts in killer whales communication's sounds and behaviors.

When he had closed his rucksack, he glanced on the corner of his room – _just in case_ \- he thought and he grabbed his tent and his sleeping bag.

The flight had been comfortable, he had been sitting near the window, listening to some good music and reading most of Lightwood's publications of the last five years.

_Maybe he’s an asshole, but his works are really something else._

The airport sat at the mouth of a wide river, which was renowned for its salmon fishing. The mountains were landing directly into the sea and their peaks were covered with a blinding white blanket, that seemed thick and soft at the same time. 

The sun was low on the horizon even if it was almost 10.

The chill hit Magnus right on his exposed nose, making it wrinkle. He turned his collar up and covered his nose with his scarf.

He headed to the taxi station and took one to reach the deep end of the fjord until it was still carriageable. It would have taken an hour driving and from there he would have had to walk to the lighthouse.

As they were driving on the coastal road of the fjord, Magnus had been enraptured by the astonishing beauty of the surroundings. The forests ended down almost into the water's edge; the trees were tall, standing out against the blue sky, the spires of the spruces and hemlocks rose higher and higher on the steep green slopes. 

The fjord's bends were filled with lingering snow-banks right were the snout of ancient glaciers met the sea and the water reflected a color that was between the deep blue of the sky and the grey of the rocks.

It was beautiful, but it also emanated a deep sense of solitude.

As he had learned from his publications, Lightwood should have been about his age. 

What could a man in his thirties do there, the whole time of the year, even when the season was so rough that forced you to stay inside? 

Magnus was completely absorbed in his thoughts.

“We have arrived, Sir. The street ends here. From that wooden gate up there you have to walk to the _Land’s End,_ this how we call the rock where the _Tower_ is located”

“The Tower?” Magnus asked confused.

“That’s how the lighthouse has always been called round here sir since it stands on an overhanging cliff that peers out directly into the ocean. It’s beautiful and scary at the same time. It has been abandoned for years until Mr. Lightwood had decided to live there. We all thought that the place was haunted and filled with bad spirits. And what had happened to him…well, I have to go back…it's 50 dollars.”

Magnus gave him the money, took his rucksack and placed it on his shoulders.

“How long is the walk from here?” he finally asked before leaving the taxi driver.

“If you’re trained and you walk at a regular pace, about three hours. You should be there for 3 pm. I suppose you use a sat-phone; this is the number of the forest guards' office and… have you got a torch? The sun will go down quickly after 2.30.”

“Yes, I do. Thanks. Does Lightwood walk every time he has to buy something?”

“Yes. He does. When he needs a lift from here to town he usually calls one of our forest guards, Jace. He is the only one with whom Mr. Lightwood actually talks.”

Magnus exhaled deeply. It was going to be a lot harder than he had planned.

“Thank you, sir, and have a good drive back”, Magnus adjusted his sack one more time, took his camera, placed it around his neck and started to walk. 

The narrow road, covered in grit and with snow on the borders, winded just at the border of the rocky promontory and it was slippery. 

Magnus had never been afraid of being alone in nature.

He had arrived at a point in his life where the company of himself was not only bearable but comforting.

He was a very fast walker and he had certainly encountered many more difficult paths in all his journeys, so he stopped from time to time to take some pictures, most of them with his phone, and sent them to Cat, Tessa, and the kids. 

He hadn’t been thinking about anything in particular during the walk to the lighthouse, more not of how to convince Lightwood to let him go with him on his trips.

The taxi driver had been right, the sun had started to go down quickly just before three pm. He switched on his torch and saw his breaths coming out in white thick puffs of smoke.

After a sharp bend on the left, Magnus was struck by an incredible sight: just on the edge of the cliff stood a white and green lighthouse, so further that it seemed as if its front part was hanging outside.

It was almost dark and he could see the lights inside. 

He walked toward the building and as he was about to climb on the first step that led to the front door he was stopped by a hard voice that came from behind him.

“Who are you and how did you get here?” there was no kindness in whom who had just spoken to him.

_Lightwood. Where was he hidden? Shit!_

Magnus turned and he wasn’t prepared for the sight right in front of his eyes.

There stood a young man tall and toned, long thin legs, broad shoulders and chest, black mussed hair, big hazel eyes, black stubble on his jaws; he was one of the most beautiful men Magnus had ever met.

It couldn’t be him.

“Sorry I…I am searching for Mr. Lightwood” he muttered.

_Why am I babbling?_

The young man's lips turned into a sarcastic smile.

“And who do you think you are talking to? It’s me. No one lives here, except me.“

Weren't ethologists supposed to be ugly? 

“Oh…ok then. I’m Magnus Bane and…”

“I know who you are and the answer is no.” 

His tone hadn’t left any space for doubts or arrangements. Magnus hadn’t been prepared for such a harshness. 

He raised his eyebrows in disbelief. 

“You know me? Did the taxi driver warn you?” 

“No one talks to me here. I've seen you. Your face. Wildlife magazines. I have even been to one of your photo exhibitions, before moving here. Your shots are beautiful, to be honest, but the answer is still no.”

“I don’t recall asking you for something yet.” now Magnus was the one who was being unpleasant.

Alec huffed while shrugging.

“You all come here for the killer whales, to make money on them.”

Magnus thought that those beautiful eyes looked hard, hurting and sad.

“I’m not interested in hosting you here. The surroundings offer thousand of guided tours. You can pick up one of those and take your photographs.”

“I don’t want to see them as the others do. I want to discover them, for what they really are. And it seems that you're the one who knows them better. I’ve read all of your papers. I want to see them the way you see them, through your eyes. More also I'm not here for the money. Not for me anyway. Let me explain to you.”

Magnus hadn’t even realized what he had just said. Maybe it had been Cat's advice that had pushed those words out from his mouth. 

The man in front of him remained silent for a moment. 

“Ok then, let’s put it this way. I don’t like having people around me. So, again and for the last time, the answer is no. Now, if you’ll move away from my doorstep…”

He pushed Magnus gently aside and entered, closing the door behind him

Magnus was literally out of his mind. He started knocking angrily and frantically at the door.

“Stop it” the voice was calm and a bit muffled by the walls “I won’t open the door. Call the forest guard. I know you have their number…and have a nice walk back.”

How could it be possible? Magnus had never lost a dispute in all of his professional life and he was not going to start today.

He turned his back to the door, headed to the right of the lighthouse and started stomping to test how hard the snow was under his feet.

When he thought he had found the right place, he unfolded his tent and planted it on the ground.

He bowed and entered. He rummaged inside the sack to take a bigger lamp and unfolded his sleeping bag, then he switched off his torch. 

He was tired and hungry; his phone was running out of battery and his clothes were starting to get colder.

He tried to close his eyes, but even if he was feeling exhausted, he couldn’t fall asleep.

_Damn Lightwood_. 

He thought. He hadn’t even given me the chance to explain.

How was he going to interact with such a surly? 

The man had seemed different from all the other jackals that were continuously trying to get to him and he was beautiful, but Alec still didn't feel comfortable around people.

The knocking sound had ceased, meaning that probably the man had left. 

When he leaned to the window that overlooked the garden to give a check, he saw a gold warm light just in the middle of the lawn.

_Dammit. He's still here. He has courage though._

Magnus was starting to feel cold. He had brought his tent for an emergency, but he hadn’t planned to sleep outside, he would have needed a heating blanket.

Alec put on his black sweater again and opened the door. Come rain or shine, the man had to leave. 

As he was slowly approaching the spot, he heard a gentle voice coming from inside. He wouldn't have wanted to eavesdrop, but he was already standing outside the tent, which made it impossible not to ear what the man was saying.

“Tessa, hey it’s me. Yeah, I’m all right, all settled up. Don’t worry. How are the kids? Fine? Good. Now I gotta go, my phone is almost out of battery ok? I’ll call you in the next days”.

So he was a husband and a father. He had a wife waiting for him to come back safe and kids who were missing him.

That thought had Alec smiling a bit. His voice had been so soft and tender.

Maybe...he deserved a second chance. Maybe he deserved to explain.

Alec bent toward the tent and opened the zip. Magnus was laying there shivering.

Alec peeked in with his head and with his hand invited Magnus to raise.

“Come inside and leave this here, we'll dismantle it tomorrow.”

Magnus was puzzled for an instant. Then he realized that Lightwood wasn’t joking since he was still standing outside his tent, waiting. He removed his sleeping bag, stepped out and followed him inside.

“Leave your shoes here in the porch”, Alec said while removing his boots and pointing to a wooden bench.

Then he gave Magnus a pair of thick wool socks.

“You can wear this while you’re inside.”

Magnus was looking at him. He was stunning. His hair was tousled and his cheeks a bit red from the chill.

His voice was different now, warm and gentle.

As Alec closed the door behind them, Magnus was invaded by the warmth of the fireplace and by the smell of coffee.

“Thank you”, he said quietly and Alec just nodded back.

Then he left Magnus in the entrance while he went to the room on the left. He returned with a pair of trousers, a jumper, and a shirt.

“Put these on. Yours must be cold and they must feel wet on your skin. Wear these and come back here, I’ve just made some coffee. The bath is the door down there, at your right.”

Then he turned toward the stove.

What had happened to the other man? Or maybe Lightwood had a gentle twin?

Those warm clothes felt good on his skin and they smelled of sea sand and saltiness.

As he returned to the main room, he noticed that the interiors were all covered in wood, the brown color spreading a warm atmosphere; there were shelves with a lot of books and pictures of killer whales. There was a small couch in front of the fireplace and a small stove on the left with two cupboards above. On the left side of the couch, just beside the stairs, there was a table with four chairs.

From that point the stairs twisted upwards.

Alec was pouring the coffee into two mugs. Then he went to the fridge and took some milk. He placed everything on the table and raised his head to look at Magnus.

He forced himself to contain a gasp, Magnus was gorgeous. He had taken just a glimpse outside in the dark, but seeing him now like this, with the light of the fire touching his caramel skin and his brown eyes, had made Alec’s stomach twitch. Magnus was staring at him too, Alec felt himself blushing and he lowered his head.

“So, you have a wife and kids waiting for you, why taking this long trip just to take pictures of killer whales?” Alec asked softy as he sat down on one of the chairs.

“Wife?” Magnus asked a little bewildered, then he recalled the moment Alec had arrived outside his tent and before Alec could even reply to him he added “Oh… you mean Tessa… No, she’s not my wife, I’m not married and those kids, well… they’re not technically mine, though yes, I consider myself as a father for them…”

Magnus was now sitting on his chair right in front of Alec.

He raised his eyes to look at him and asked quietly “Have you a name or should I call you Mr. Lightwood?” he smiled gently.

The kindness of that smile hit Alec unexpectedly, “I’m Alec.”

“That stands for Alexander?”

Alec's eyes widened in surprise and he nodded shyly.

“Don’t you like it? Being called by your full name?”

“Yeah…no…I don’t know…” he smiled bowing his head, he was not used to have a conversation anymore “…it’s just that …no one calls me like that.”

“Do you mind if I do?”

Alec shook his head smiling. His name sounded so sweet on Magnus’ tongue and lips. Those lips.

Alec tried to distract himself from staring at Magnus.

“So…why do you want to take these pictures, if not for money?”

Magnus sipped his coffee.

“It’s for them, for the kids.” He took another bit of coffee and since Alec was listening intently he continued “I...the woman I was talking to when you arrived, is the conductor of a foster care home…the one where I was grown. Since I left, I have always been there for them. They are my family. And they are losing their home. I'm running a charity event in two weeks for fundraising. I will sell my pictures and use that money to but them a new home. That is why I need your killer whales, your way of seeing them…I know I will take the best pictures with you. I’m their only hope…” his voice showed a slight tremble in the end.

While talking, Magnus had kept staring at the hot black steaming liquid inside his mug. As he finished, he remained silent, waiting for Alec to say something.

But Alec wasn’t replying anything. The air was so thick it could have been cut easily with a knife. Magnus didn’t dare to raise his eyes.

“I leave every morning at 5 when the sun has not completely risen yet. On my boat, you follow my rules.”

Magnus’ lips curved in a soft smile.

He looked up again and found that Alec was staring at him. His eyes were gentle and shining.

“You can settle in the room upstairs and have a shower if you want, while I make something for dinner.”

Alec rose from his chair and spun to face the stove.

“What had made you change your mind?” Magnus asked abruptly while Alec had started washing the mugs.

Alec closed the tap and answered without turning to look at Magnus.

“You talking with her…you had just been kicked off and were about to spend a night almost freezing and starving still, your first thoughts had been about her and the kids. It had been this…”

He opened the water again.

Magnus was standing behind Alec and was watching him intensely. He hadn’t expected him to come back and allow him to come in, and the fact that tomorrow he was going to follow Alec on his boat… well he had never dreamt it could have ever happened…Alexander Lightwood was different, Magnus was sure this was gonna be an experience.

Magnus had a shower and changed in his sweatpants and a black jumper.

He came down from the stairs and went directly toward the stove where Alec was mixing something in a pan.

“Need any help?”

Alec wasn’t expecting Magnus to be right beside him, so when he turned his head to the left, he gasped at the sight of those eyes staring at him from such a close distance. He blushed.

“Sorry Alexander, I hadn’t meant to scare you or make you uncomfortable.”

“No, not at all. I ….I just wasn’t expecting you to come so close” he diverted his gaze and attention back to the sauce he was cooking and answered, “if you want to set the table…”

“Sure… up there?” Magnus was pointing the only cupboard he could see above the sink.

“Plates and glasses are up there, yes. Forks in the drawer, the third one on your left” Alec replied and slightly moved his chin in the direction of the three drawers.

“Do you eat couscous with vegetables and fish?’” he asked.

“Oh… I eat almost everything Alexander… It’s not that I am used to having a warm freshly cooked meal whenever I’m around the world working, so whatever you had planned to offer me, I will take it.”

He almost choked on his last words realizing the double meaning.

Alec smiled silently and didn’t turn his head, not wanting to make Magnus uncomfortable.

Magnus took the plates and the glasses and placed the table. 

Here they were, two perfect strangers going through an evening routine like a married couple that was meeting again after a working day; and it didn’t feel strange or awkward at all. On the contrary, it felt normal and so domestic that Magnus was amazed. 

He hadn’t felt like this since he had been in his foster care.

Alec placed the food on the table.

“I don’t have wine…I don’t drink. Sorry.” He apologized.

“Nothing to be sorry for Alexander. The food is delicious”. Magnus said after he had swallowed his first bite.

“Thank you. I like cooking even when it's only for me…but I have to admit that if you have someone sharing, it’s even better.”

Magnus looked at him deeply. Alec hadn’t even realized how straightforward he had been, he had no masks, no guiles. He was just being himself. He was enjoying his company and he had said so. 

If someone had observed him a little closer like Magnus was doing right now while they were eating, he could have noticed that Alec looked lonely. His eyes were beautiful, but they seemed sad. 

His wide forehead had those wrinkles that came from furrowing your brows too often, in disappointment, or sorrow, or disbelief.

“So…are you living all alone here Alexander?”

“Yes. I've been living here since I started my study on killer whales social sounds and behaviors, which was five years ago. My sibl…my sister still lives in New York, where we grew up. Sometimes she comes here to visit me but…she’s a nurse so…she can’t leave every time she wants to. Jace…the forest guard the taxi driver had given you the number, he's like a brother to me. He had lost his father when we were in high school…and he had been living with us since then. He had come to live here two years ago…” his eyes dropped to the table and his face darkened. 

Magnus could tell that there must have been a reason why Jace had decided to follow Alec there and why Alec now looked so … lost.

“…but next summer he’s going to move in Yellowstone. His girlfriend Clary works there and is waiting for him, they’re getting married in July”, Alec was smiling again.

“…oh, marriage, what a wonderful institution! Will you follow him right behind?” Magnus asked straight back just to realize that maybe he had overstepped. Why should he be interested in knowing if Alec had a girlfriend? He surely had, he was so handsome and … intriguing.

“…sorry you don’t have to answer…it’s, not my business, I don’t know why I even asked…” Magnus felt uncomfortable and a bit disappointed with himself, he had never messed up so badly with someone else.

“…I don’t have a girlfriend…never had…”

Magnus’ eyes grew wide, had he heard right? 

_No ONE ever_? 

Before his astonishment could betray him, Alec added “…a boyfriend actually, I had one while I was at University…but…it didn’t last long…”

_Ooooohhhhh. That’s why. This makes much more sense now. He's into guys….._

Magnus’ felt a flickering inside his stomach at the information Alec had just given him, he was…-- _satisfied? A bit happy? Glad?_ \-- but he tried to hide his feelings shoving a huge bite of fish inside his mouth and pouring some water in his glass.

They spent the rest of their dinner in silence, since probably they had already talked too much about too much private stuff, at least Alec surely had done. He couldn’t even explain to himself why he had felt the urge to tell Magnus that he was gay…after it had taken him a lifetime to come out.

“I’ll clean here. Go and take some rest. Tomorrow you have to be up early and I bet the journey had been tiring.”

“Alexander…” Magnus tried to object, but he was extremely tired and Alec must have noticed.

“You have two weeks to pay me back. Take some sleep” and he smiled again, this time more deeply.

Did those words suppose that Alec Lightwood would have let Magnus stay there for all the time he had planned to? 

Magnus really hoped so.

He raised from his chair and took his steps toward the room upstairs, each footfall letting out a metallic clang that echoed throughout the lighthouse. 

Just before taking the last two turning steps, Magnus cocked his head down a bit, looking at Alec, “Thank you again, Alexander. For everything. Good night” and he disappeared into the dark.

The bed was comfortable and the sheets smelled of soap and of old wooden wardrobes. 

As the heaviness of the day instantly caught him, Magnus closed his eyes and a smile outlined in his face. He felt happy and relaxed. He was going save his kids…and it had just turned out that this guy who he would have been forced to live with for the next days wasn’t bad at all; actually Magnus liked him, a lot. 

Magnus’ alarm had been probably been ringing for a while since when he opened his eyes the volume was really high.

He stretched his arms and legs and then he heard _something…_ more precisely he heard _someone._ Was he really singing? Was Alec singing his alarm's song? 

_Good taste._ Magnus thought smirking.

He dressed up and ran downstairs.

“Morning” Alec had talked without moving from the stove. He was turning the pancakes in the pan and on the table there were already some jam, butter, fresh-cut fruit, maple's syrup and honey. The coffee was spreading his scent all around the room and Magnus felt like he had been stroke by a blinding light even if it was still dark outside.

“Morning to you … you’re making it difficult for me to make it up to you, if you keep on doing things like this…” Magnus said as he put a blueberry in his mouth. Magnus loved fresh fruit for breakfast, it was something that really helped his senses to come alive again, since he wasn’t really a morning person.

“This…what? Breakfast? We won’t have a proper meal on the boat… just a couple of sandwiches … you'll see it’s not going to be a tourist trip…”

“My journeys are the furthest thing from a tourist trip Alexander” 

“Oh…I know…but…staying on the sea for hours, under the wind and the sun…can be _something._ I just meant that maybe you are more acquainted with dry land…that’s all.”

Alec had been right. Water had never been Magnus’ element of choice. He had gone through deserts, glaciers, savannah and jungles…but the ocean was a bit of uncovered territory for him.

So Alec had really seen his photo-shoots. He hadn’t lied the night before.

“Just sit and help yourself” Alec lowered the plate with the pancakes on the table and sat, pouring himself some coffee.

“Is your jacket waterproof?” Alec asked while chewing his pancake.

“Well, it can surely take some heavy rain, but I don’t think it can take a wave washing on us, definitely not.” 

“Then, I’ll give you one of mine. We can’t risk you to remain wet…or you'll freeze”, he inhaled a short breath then added “The same for your shoes…take…take.. those overshoes down there… they…should be your size…”

Magnus wanted to ask whose those boots had belonged to, but Alec's voice had turned low and bitter again.

What was he hiding inside himself?

The early morning air was still frosty and the sun hadn’t already peeked out from the horizon line, but the sky down there was starting to change: mellow blues and faded violet were merging as a flower slowly opening its petals to the morning sun.

“I’m glad it fits you. I guessed right” Alec stated pointing to the jacket.

“Oh, yes. Perfectly Alexander, thanks”

They were walking in the dark, side by side, Magnus with his camera already around his neck. They were just two silhouettes moving, the immersive all-embracing silence around being broken only by the sound of the waves and their footsteps on the gravel.

They had been moving toward the other side of the lighthouse, the opposite of where Magnus had planted his tent. 

“Watch your steps now, the path here goes down steeply and it’s very slippery at this morning hours.” Alec switched on his torch and led the way.

They were walking in silence, staring at the ground and their feet.

Alec made a short jump at the end and Magnus followed him. As he finally raised his head from the soil a huge black shape was standing out against the lightening sky, a sail.

“Are… are we sailing?” Magnus asked unbelieving.

Alec let out a mild and soft laughter.

“I’m an ethologist Magnus. Do you think I could have ever used a motorboat to study my killer whales? I love them, Magnus. I want to understand the way they live, not to poison them with fuel”

That made sense. No rumor, no fuel, no pollution, no external factors to interfere with him.

“Never sailed before?”

“No, never.”

“Oh, that’s gonna be an experience then.” Alec stepped in and turned to Magnus landing him a hand. “It’s slick.”

Alec’s hand felt like a womb that had welcomed Magnus in. It was big and warm and its long thin calloused fingers wrapped around his small ones perfectly. It felt like the hand had a language of his own, saying to him _I’ll grab you_ and Magnus thought of how protective must have felt to have those hands clutching him in an embrace.

Magnus’ hands on the contrary were a bit shaking for the emotion.

“Feeling nervous?” Alec asked quietly and softly. The darkness making him at ease.

“No, no…it’s just that… you are _surprising_. Is there anything you’re not good at?”

“People, I’m not good with people. And feelings. And Words. That’s why I have chosen animals.” Alec answered while he was unraveling the mooring ropes from the huge trunk that emerged from the pebbles.

Magnus would have wanted to say something, but he couldn’t find anything right or good enough to reply; Alec was being so open and honest with him that it was almost too much.

_That’s another thing you’re good at Lightwood. Leave me out of words._ Magnus thought.

Alec turned on the engine but kept it to the minimum.

“We need it to get out of these narrow rocks. They make the moves more dangerous and they shield the wind. You’ll see, it will hit you as soon as we pass that round cliff out there. From that moment on I will switch it off.” Alec explained. 

Alec had been right. As soon as the wind blew faster and hit the boat, it began to push on the mainsail, blowing the loose cloth until it was stretched and bowed forward in the center. Then Alec locked the heel and bowed to untie the rope that was blocking the jib to unfold it, the fabric rustling under the breeze. When he thought he had done with the jib, Alec rolled up the rope again and blocked it.

Magnus was astounded. 

“Do you do this all alone? Always?” he asked.

“Yes, mostly. Sometimes Jace comes, but he doesn’t like water. He does that only for me.”

“Look at me carefully and maybe you can try to help me if you want to.” 

Magnus smiled, “I would love to”

Sailing was nothing like what Magnus had always imagined. The wind in his face, the sprays of the sea, the smell of salt, the sound of the breeze and the waves, it was an incredibly sensory experience.

Then, after the blackness of the night, the sun rose up the horizon, spreading his light in every direction, in the way that natural forces do, his light a gift for every awakening creature. And in a moment they were cast in crimson, bathed in a rosy glow. The light grew brighter and as the warm rays were turning yellow, Magnus’ caramel skin was glowing as if it was almost golden. 

Alec was staring at him, his outlines were standing out against the sky as he was watching the sea. His mohawk hair was slightly moving with the breeze, his nose was thin and slightly turned-up, his lips were curved and a bit pursed in aweness. 

Then he saw him grabbing his camera and bringing it up, in front of his eyes. It seemed to Alec that Magnus was following the movements of the waves and the sun as he was taking his pictures.

It didn’t take that long for the sun to rise high above over the line of the horizon making the deep blue ocean sparkling with its glimmering sparkles. 

Magnus lowered his camera and stared at the sea. They had gained speed. 

It seemed as if they were flying over the sea, dancing over the crested waves, cleaving a path through the wind-whipped water and it was clear that Alec just loved sailing. 

Magnus could tell from the look he had in his eyes that it meant freedom to him as if the water called to him like a lover and whispered sweet words in his ears. He had that soft smile which made his lips curve upwards and wildness in his gaze that made him even more beautiful that Magnus had ever seen him before.

“Enjoying it?” Alec asked.

“More than what I have ever thought.”

When they were far enough from the land, Alec lowered the sails and threw the anchor. The boat was swinging with the waves. Then he took a cable connected to a monitor with a pair of earphones and a recorder.

“This is a portable sonar. They will come near soon. They are acquainted with my boat and my presence. Don’t make quick moves. Ever. You will scare them. Sit astern and wait for them to rise. I'll throw some food in the water first. There is a huge aggressive male in this pod, we need him to be sated before we try anything else with the females and the calves.”

Magnus just nodded, adrenaline and excitement were raising in his blood; this was what made his life so beautiful, all these upsurgings and conflicting emotions.

“I will peer off the bow a little to touch them, they are used to our one-to-one interactions and they are used to my smell, and they are used to my cable too. They know I won’t hurt them. Don't try to touch them abruptly for this first time, we will get there step-by-step if you want to try. Last, if they ever jump above the boat, don’t be scared, it means they are playing” - Alec’s voice was sure and comforting - “and again… don’t stand up and don't do anything that would make the boat swing too much.”

Alec seemed to trust Magnus in doing exactly what he had been just told.

Magnus sat and positioned his camera.

Then he heard the beeping sounds of the sonar becoming more and more closely spaced. Magnus threw a glance to Alec who just nodded back, while he placed one earphone on his ear and switched on the recorder.

They were coming.

Alec peered out as he had explained and a black shape rose from underneath the surface, spraying a bit of water through the blowhole that was on top of the head.

“Hi Shouka.” Alec's voice was calm and steady but it conveyed also a deep joy.

The head made a swing and then emitted a sound that seemed like a giggle.

“Feeling playful, are you?” Alec smiled as he slightly caressed the dark black fibrous connective tissue.

“I brought a friend with me today. Can you see him? He'll be coming with me for the next days” and he gestured Magnus to raise a bit from his crossed legs sitting position.

The killer whale moved its dorsal fin and its fluke as if she was greeting Magnus.

Magnus was out of words. He kept staring at the animal, the apex predator of the seas, capable of killing sharks and seals, playing with Alec like a puppy.

As he awakened from his trance, he started to take quick pictures in rapid succession.

Then the animal disappeared into the deep blue ocean again.

“Shouka was a calf when I first came here. I've been playing with her ever since and she lets me do things I could never dare to do on any other member of the pod.”

“A sort of _imprinting_?”

“Yeah, sort of. Not precisely since she had a mother to follow, but quite yes. She had been sort of an anchor for me in my darkest days” he was staring at the surface, lost again in a place where no one could reach him.

“She’s the dominant female of the pod now. So we are safe, and other members of the pod will soon come after her. Killer whales’ pods consist of several matrilines traveling together and Shouka is the female ancestor of all of them. They are a sort of _clan_ and they share the same language”

In a while the boat was surrounded by black and white moving shapes.

Magnus kept taking pictures, while they were playing with Alec or playing together, raising and drowning again into the depths. The air was filled with their vocalizations and Alec’s laughter.

“It wasn’t so difficult then…” Magnus said.

“What?” 

“Laughing” and he smiled.

The time flew quickly on the boat; Magnus taking pictures, Alec talking about the killer whales, trying to explain to him the differences between the sounds, the movements and the all different names of the pod’s members.

The sun was slowly starting his descent toward the horizon when Alec was pulling up the anchor again and unfolding the mainsail. As he bent down to unroll the rope of the jib, Magnus knelt beside him and put his hand on Alec’s forearm “Teach me how to do this, I want to help you.” 

Magnus’ hand had been so soft and warm and his voice so tender and caressing that Alec almost lost it. 

He was so close that Alec could sense the fragrance of his aftershave filling his nose and lungs. 

Magnus’ eyes were glistening and Alec just couldn’t divert his gaze from those lips and that goatee that he wanted to brush with his fingers.

It had taken him a moment to pull himself together and answer back to him “Ok…just…keep losing the rope until I tell you to stop. Watch the sail while you do that, so you can understand the right amount of stretch it needs to gather enough wind, but not to be torn apart. When I will tell you that is enough, you have to roll this up here as quickly as you can.” 

He had been breathing quickly while talking, Magnus’ eyes never leaving his.

Alec rose on his legs and felt _drunk_. 

He went back to the heel and watched the jib unfolding in the wind.

“Stop!” he shouted and Magnus did exactly what Alec had asked him to do, quickly and perfectly.

He looked at Alec searching for approval and Alec nodded and smiled back.

As Magnus was raising from his kneeling position, Alec shouted him “Mind your head!” just when the boom swang in his direction.

“Are you trying to kill me, Lightwood?”

“Maybe, Bane.”

Magnus went to sit near the heel, where Alec was standing. Feeling emboldened by the lowering shades of the night he tried out “Why do you keep these, if he had left you? You clearly can’t use them, they’re too small for your size.”

Magnus felt Alec’s breath hitch and his legs stiffen.

“Those are my smaller brother's clothes” he replied a bit annoyed and irritated, enough to let Magnus understand that he had no intention to go further in that conversation.

They both remained silent in the journey back, as the dark slowly enwrapped the mountains and the water together into a big black hole.

They were on their fourth day of sailing and each day had felt better than the previous one.

They had fallen into a sort of rhythm made of breakfast; boat and talking; taking pictures and learning things about the killer whales social behaviors; having dinner and playing chess beside the fireplace.

Alec had never felt so happy in his whole life. Magnus was a wonderful listener, an eager learner, a funny and hilarious companion, a smart and intelligent man, an incredible chess player and he had a very sensitive and kind heart. And he was beautiful. Alec caught himself staring at him more times a day, when he wasn’t looking at him.

Magnus, for its part, was enraptured by Alec’s notions and stories, by his shyness and gentleness and by his smile and laughter, since he had discovered that he could make him laugh, wholeheartedly. 

Never in all his journeys and trips, he had met such a kind, selfless and intelligent man.

And he had those big hazel eyes that lit up his whole face every time he smiled and that black stubble that stood out in his pale skin. 

“May I see them?”

Magnus was sitting on the couch with his laptop, scrolling through the pictures he had taken during those days.

“Sure” Magnus answered and shifted his hips on his right to make space for Alec.

Alec sat down beside him and scooted closer until their shoulders were touching slightly.

It felt so good and warm and comforting in a way that Alec hadn’t ever experienced. 

His last two years had been a slow, swirling, painful one-way travel into sorrow and grief. 

He had never thought that he could ever be happy again.

Because that was what he was feeling, happy. So damn happy. 

“You had taken pictures of me too!” Alec protested.

“You are playing with the killer whales Alexander, it’s not like I can cut your head out while I’m taking the picture.” Magnus laughed. 

“Promise me you’ll do that later.” Alec elbowed him on his side.

“I never use computer imaging to alter my shots” Magnus smirked.

“That wouldn’t be altering… it would be cutting what doesn’t fit in it…”

All Magnus shots were so different from the pictures Alec was used to see in magazines and research centers. They were all so lively and life-like, it seemed as if the animals were just about to pop out from the paper.

Some of them were focused only on particular spots of the killer whales’ body; the fluke slapping the surface of the waves, the gray patch on the back just behind the dorsal fin, the eyes or the mouth open and showing the teeth.

In other pictures the killer whales seemed like smiling.

Alec understood why Magnus was one of the most wanted photographers because he was able to catch the unseen.

Then Alec fell silent.

He was staring at a picture where Shouka was touching his nose.

God, it was so incredibly intimate.

“This one…this one is beyond amazing, Magnus…it just proves that killer whales are social and friendly animals and how similar they are to monkeys and humans..” Alec muttered.

“You…you have stolen all my words, Magnus. This one is really beautiful. I mean, all the others are, but this one…”

“This one… can’t be cut…” and they laughed.

“Of course it can be, let me show you.” And he bent toward Magnus to tickle him just above his hip, digging his fingers gently into Magnus’ shirt and flesh underneath it.

Magnus squinted and tried to pull back, but Alec stretched his long arm around Magnus’ shoulders and tightened his grip, to keep him in place. 

“Hahaha…Alexander please…” Magnus was laughing and Alec was laughing with him too, just relishing the awareness of being the source of that joy.

When they were almost falling from the couch Alec’s phone buzzed.

“Yeahhhhhhhh hahaha….”

“Alec? Are you…laughing?” Jace couldn’t believe his ears.

“Ah…yeah Jace”, realizing how embarrassing must have been the sound that he probably had made, so he cleared his throat “…me and Magnus were scrolling through his pictures and…well…” Alec couldn’t find the words to explain what had just happened.

“Needed anything?”

“Ugh no Alec. I just wanted to check. I hadn’t heard from you since…well since Magnus had arrived so…I was quite impressed he hadn’t called me that night to drive him back…”

“….ah well …I tried to kick him out, but he…he had a good point…”

Magnus looked at Alec with tenderness.

“Glad to hear that…ehm Alec, do you remember that I am going to Clary tomorrow? I'll be back in ten days I think.” Jace’s tone seemed unsure and worried.

Jace had never left Alec even once in the last two years, it was the first time he conceded himself to go and visit Clary instead of her coming.

“I remember yes. I’m fine Jace. I’ll be fine. Have fun.”

Jace chuckled “You too Alec. You too.” 

Alec dropped the phone on the couch and turned to look at Magnus. His cheeks were flushed and he was biting his bottom lip.

Alec lowered his gaze and spotted the outline of Magnus’ cock under his sweatpants.

His thoughts went haywire.

Distracted from the playfulness of the moment he hadn’t realized that he was half-hard too.

He looked up again into Magnus’ eyes and knew that he had noticed that.

His cheeks and neck went crimson and he nervously stood up from where he was sitting, heading toward the sink.

He opened the tap and filled a glass, swallowing its content in one quick shot.

He could hear his heart stammering inside his chest, the sound echoing in his ears and head.

What was he supposed to do? Get back to the couch and kiss him? He didn’t even remember how a kiss felt. He didn’t remember how to do that properly. He just knew that he wanted to. So much.

He bent his head toward the sink and sighed.

Magnus was attractive, he surely was desired and most of all he was leaving in about ten days. 

Alec couldn’t let himself fall in love with him. It would have been a disaster.

While Alec was lost in his overthinking, Magnus was watching him from behind. He knew that Alec had been shocked in seeing how much he had been affected by their closeness and he could bet that Alec desired to touch him.

Alec was so beautiful, Magnus thought, forcing himself to stand away from him. And he was scared, obviously. 

What was that he had said, university? Yes, Alec had told him he had a boyfriend back then, but after that? So they were almost what, 5 years?

And he was lost somewhere too, in a place where Magnus wasn’t allowed to enter.

That had been clear when Alec had snapped to him as Magnus had tried to ask more about the smaller clothes.

Why Alec should want to let him in into that dark, sad, painful place where he was closing himself in? He was nothing to Alec.

Nonetheless Magnus would have wanted to. He dreamt about following Alec inside that space, showing him that whatever he had went through, it was over; that he could live again. That Magnus was there with him.

Was that really what he was desiring? Living with Alexander Lightwood? Could he dare to promise that? He never had been in a long-lasting relationship after Imasu had left him more than three years before.

He felt so confused.

Wasn’t it all too much, all too quick, all too strange to be true?

“I…can I ask you to leave me a copy of that one before you go away? I wanna print it and hang it…” Alec was trying to divert his thoughts from where they had been lingering.

Magnus smiled “Sure Alexander, if you want to keep this only for you, I won’t sell it…”

Alec spun on his heels to face Magnus.

“No, no…I want the world to know that what I have been assuming in the last two years it’s true…that killer whales share …some personality traits with primates and humans…and that picture just proves that. I…I want this for me…to remember Shouka when she will be gone and to remember this...” he raised his hand making a circular motion and pointing to Magnus, “…what I had with you when you will be far away…and gone forever. Like anyone else.” the words fell sadly from his lips.

Magnus inhaled a short breath listening to those words. Did they imply that Alec would have wanted him to stay? 

Then Alec looked outside one of the windows, his eyebrows furrowed and he licked his dried lips.

“Time is merciless…The first thing you forget is the way a smile sounds, the tone of the voice, the scent of the skin, the warmth of an embrace… then faces and bodies start to fade too…until you wake up in the middle of the night crying because you realize that those memories are abandoning you slowly, but relentlessly…”

Who was he talking about? Magnus knew ….there was a _WHO_ behind all those words, behind all that pain.

He would have wanted to say something…but he didn’t know where to start. Alexander Lightwood had left him speechless once again.

The day that followed had been strange in the beginning, Alec had been avoiding to touch Magnus in any way and Magnus had been trying to stay away from Alec’s personal space, even on the boat. But then, as the hours flew by, the comfort and the easiness were there again.

On their tenth day of living and working together, Alec had gone up to Magnus’ room early to switch his alarm off and he had waited for Magnus to show up downstairs, preparing breakfast and doing laundry. The sun was high and there was a lot of wind.

“Why hadn’t you waken me up? You even turned off the alarm, why? Aren’t we going?” Magnus’ was stretching his arms up above his head as he was stepping down from the stairs.

“I need to buy groceries”, Alec replied and raised his head from the laptop where he had been writing while sipping his coffee.

“Morning” he smiled fondly.

“Morning to you… Haven’t you had breakfast? You seem… wide awake…” Magnus sat down and poured the coffee in his cup.

“I’ve been waiting for you and working. I need to send my new article next week. Anyway… wanna come with me?”

Magnus wrinkled his nose and exhaled. He wasn’t really in the right mood for walking, but… he was glad Alec wanted him to go.

“Sure, gimme a minute and I’ll be ready to go”

Alec was already waiting outside for him.

“Why are you wearing those trekking shoes?” Alec asked him.

“Did you expect me to walk for three hours on that road wearing sailing boots?” 

Alec burst out in a full heart laughter, one hand right in the middle of his chest as if he wanted to contain himself and one hand on his right thigh.

“You… did you believe that? Really?” he managed to say between the gasps.

“What?” 

“That I walk each time I need to buy anything.”

“Isn’t it so?” Magnus seemed puzzled.

“Of course not. I love walking but I’m not mad! I sail. I thought you would have guessed by now that it was an _urban legend_. People have built up so many strange stories about me… since I am never going in town…” he was smiling now.

“Don’t you dare say anything more”, Magnus smiled him back. He was actually glad that they weren’t walking and he was glad to go sailing for no specific purpose.

He turned around and went to change his shoes.

There was a fish market in the small village where Alec had brought him. As they were strolling around the stalls, Magnus’ attention was caught by a woman who was selling squids, cockles, and clams and an idea came to his mind.

“Will you let me cook something for you?” Magnus asked.

“You already did. More than once.” Alec replied while paying his vegetables.

“I meant something different, something I have eaten while traveling around the world, something special. I’ll be leaving soon…” Magnus was smiling, but his smile was full of longing.

“Sure. I would love that.” Alec whispered.

Magnus cooked a plate of barbecued fish and spices, serving it on a huge plate covered with lemon’s slices and surrounded by a fresh salad.

“It’s delicious Magnus, I’ve never eaten such a thing in all of my life.”

“I guessed you would have liked it. You need to get out from here, Alexander. The world is big and beautiful and you can find killer whales in many other places. More also, you can’t be working all of your time…” Magnus was cleaning the cockles with his fork and he was so graceful in his movements that Alec for an instant thought that he might have been a prince.

The dinner had been wonderful, they were happy and relaxed and they were both conscious that their feelings for each other were growing stronger, but didn’t dare to give them a name. 

Was there any chance for them to build anything? Time was passing quickly and Magnus would have left soon. There was a balance to break if they ever wanted to give it a try.

“Tomorrow we’re not sailing to them” 

“Mmmm?”

“We’ll wait on the beach, one of Shouka’s daughter should come closer to the shore, she has to give birth to her calf, it should happen soon, in a couple of days maximum. This is the place where Shouka had given birth to them… I thought you would have liked to see that. It’s an incredible experience and… I bet no one has ever taken a picture that close. You’ll make enough money to buy your kids a house with a big garden” Alec was smiling picturing children running to Magnus and grabbing his legs playfully.

Magnus was astounded. 

“Why don’t you come to the exhibition?” Magnus asked tentatively.

Alec looked him straight in the eyes “Will you be happy if I do?”

Magnus nodded, “More than I can say.”

“Then, maybe… I will think of it”

Was that a promise? A way to let Alec know that he didn’t want them to lose each other? A way to tell him that he wanted to break that balance, but he didn’t know how to?

“Here she comes Magnus, look” Alec’s voice was low and muffled by the strong wind that was howling between the rocks of the fjord.

Magnus could see a dorsal fin approaching to the place where they were sitting in silence. Then the animal started rolling in the water.

“She’s quite there Magnus… you can get closer, but remain crouched so she won’t see you.”

Magnus was about to move when he realized Alec wasn’t following him.

“You’re not coming?”

“No… she would notice… I’ve seen it many times. It’s your turn now. Go ahead.”

Alec was looking at him with so much… _love_?

Magnus didn’t know for sure… but whatever it was, it really seemed like love.

Then a strangled sound came from underneath the waves, the killer whale was slamming her fluke frantically in and out of the surface, then there was a big stain of blood spreading on the water and Magnus glimpsed another shape swimming.

He had been clicking on his camera, changing positions and angles. It was so incredibly touching.

After what had seemed hours, the calf was floating near his mother’s body, making kittenish sounds.

“Now slowly walk backward. They are really dangerous and aggressive when their newborn calves are around them.” Alec whispered behind his back.

“Look at this one, Alexander!” Magnus was excited like a child.

Alec dropped the washing towel on the sink, dragged one chair near Magnus and sat beside him, but instead of looking at the picture on the screen he was staring at Magnus.

He looked so beautiful like this, lost in awe.

“See?” Magnus was zooming in and out one picture where the little calf was leaning beside his mother’s body, the picture was so tender and the couple looked so _human_.

Alec was torn out from his thoughts.

“It’s incredible, Magnus you… you are an artist. I don’t know how you have been able to catch all these little movements and expressions.”

Their arms were touching and Alec felt a shiver running down his spine.

He had to move. Quickly. Magnus was leaving the day after tomorrow. Their time was over. He couldn’t let himself have what he knew he would have missed like air.

Magnus’ buzzing phone helped him to stand up.

“It’s Tessa.” Alec handed him the phone.

“Tessa! How are you? I'm great! I have the best pictures ever! You'll see…it’s gonna be a success. We can buy a home Tessa, a big one.” Magnus eyes were glowing and his voice was trembling for the emotion.

At least Magnus would have remembered him for this, for having given him the choice to make his children happy and safe. That was enough for him, Alec thought. To be remembered. To be inside his heart.

That morning Alec had woken up with a throbbing headache. He hadn’t slept at all.

Magnus was packing his things upstairs and Alec didn’t want to stay there, watching.

“I…I want to go and see them one more time Alexander. May I?” Magnus asked from upstairs.

“Ehm…sure of course. You can. You know how to move and what to do.”

“Aren’t you coming with me?”

“No. I need to get some other work done.”

Alec knew Magnus would have been disappointed, but he needed to stay away from him. 

He needed to get acquainted with the idea that tomorrow he would have been alone again.

Magnus was now standing at the end of the stairs with his camera.

“Will you walk with me this afternoon?” he dared to ask.

“Sure. I have already called the taxi driver since Jace won’t be here until tomorrow. I will come with you and sleep in town after your plane has left. I'll do some errands and wait for Jace to bring me back here.” Alec replied. 

He knew it would have hurt like hell seeing Magnus getting on that plane, but he would have never let him walk back alone. 

It was going to be their last walk, their last talk, their last everything.

Magnus knew Alec wasn’t coming to the exhibition and Alec knew Magnus would have not insisted for him to go.

Magnus put on his jacket and exited in silence.

He was sitting on the shore, thinking about Alec.

He wanted him to come. He wanted to tell him to come. 

Then he saw the calf swimming toward the shore.

It was so tempting. He rose slowly and approached the water.

Alec looked at his watch. It was almost noon. Magnus should have been back. They had to have lunch and then walk before it would have gotten too dark.

_I should go and bring him back._

While he was descending toward the beach, Alec was thinking that maybe he could have gone to the exhibition...it would have been in a couple of days...Alec could have gotten in that plane and go to New York, sleep at Izzy's, surprise Magnus and maybe invite him on a date.

_What the hell!?!?!_

The image in front of Alec's eyes had made his mind gone completely blank.

Magnus was standing in the water, that was already reaching the middle of his thighs, with the newborn calf swimming playfully around him.

Alec's heart stopped as memories started flooding his head. He could feel his heartbeat quickening, his breaths becoming short and close, his head spinning and the flashbacks were there again….Max in the water, Alec running to grab him, discovering that he had arrived too late.

In a sort of dissociative state he found himself running toward Magnus and yelling him to get out.

He threw himself in the water, grabbed Magnus from his arm and threw him rudely on the stones.

Magnus was shocked, he hadn't had the time to realize what had just happened. He just knew that he was lying on the stones, his low back hurting from the fall, his arm bruised from the tight grip and Alec panting in front of him, his face white blank, his eyes red and vacant, his hair soaked in sweat.

Where was he?

Then Alec's face turned into a grimace and he threw up.

His vision was blurring and he couldn't breathe anymore, he kept opening his mouth and inhaling quickly but it seemed as if the air wasn't getting to his lungs.

Magnus raised up and slowly approached him.

"Alexander? Are...are you ok?"

Alec raised his gaze to look at him, it was lost and full of anger.

"Ok?" He shouted. He was perspiring.

He pushed Magnus hard on his shoulder.

"How can I be ok? You could have been killed."

Magnus didn't recognize the man in front of him.

"Alexander you are overreacting. I was perfectly aware of where the mother was. And I had my feet planted in the ground. I could have easily escaped if it would have been necessary. You’re having a panic attack, just sit down and breathe, please. ”

Magnus' voice was warm and gentle, but Alec was trapped in his own hell.

Instead of calming him, Magnus' words just drove Alec mad.

"You don't know anything! You think that a couple of weeks with me give you the knowledge I gained in years? She could have killed you!"

Why was he talking about the killer whale? Magnus was right, she had never been a real threaten.

Alec would have wanted to say that out loud, that he had seen Max again on that shore, that he had been thrown back in time, but he couldn’t, not now, not in this way, after he’d been hiding himself behind that shield for two damn weeks.

"Alexander stop this nonsense. You are the one who told me that killer whales usually never attack humans. You came here in a sort of trance, shouting like you have been walking in a nightmare. This is not about the calf and the mother. It is about you and what you still refuse to share with me. Do you think I am blind? That I hadn’t noticed how you turn uncomfortable around some topics? I want to help. If you don’t let anyone inside, you can never heal.”

Magnus’ voice was still tender.

“No, it’s not about me.” Alec tried to defend himself.

Magnus scoffed. 

“You shouted my name and then you called _Max_. Twice. Who is he? What happened to him? I deserve to know this, don’t you think? Since I am the one you have mistaken for him.”

Magnus had raised his voice this time and it sounded hurt and angry now; he was crowding Alec's space and his movements were intimidating.

"I...I ... can't… " Alec's voice was trembling.

"You can't or you don't want to? Tell me. Because you have been hiding something all these days. You have been avoiding my questions and all my attempts to reach you...so, maybe you don't want to be reached. Maybe you like to be stuck in that horrible place where you have thrown yourself and expect the others to take pity on you? I can’t help you if you don’t let me in. Who is Max?"

Alec was trembling under his assault.

"Magnus you don't know what you're talking about. Don’t do this to me, please Magnus. I can't… "

"Listen Alec." His voice was hard and harsh. "Do you think you are the only one that’s been broken and hurt? The only one life has battered and betrayed? I have never met my parents, I grew up in a foster care, I have never had siblings that cared for me. I had partners who have betrayed me, cheated on me and who had broke my trust and my heart. Nonetheless, I trusted you from the beginning, opening up and telling you my story, my past. And I have been patient. Enough. Who is Max? I won’t ask you again.”

Alec remained still, in silence, tears gathering in his eyes as his voice got trapped in his throat.

He would have wanted to speak about that, but he had never talked about that day again, with anyone. He wasn’t prepared to let himself go, to bare his soul, even if it was Magnus asking.

“Ok. You have made your choice and clearly, I have been wrong. I thought you were interested in me, as I am in you. And I thought that maybe this could have been enough for you to make an effort. Do you want to feel safe, accepted and protected in a relationship? You have to be willing to sacrifice your pride and your fear of being hurt to the altar of _trust_. You can’t shut off the risk without losing the love along with it. I don’t want you to come to the exhibition and I don’t want you to walk with me to the town. I don’t want anything else from you Alexander.”

He turned his back to Alec and ran toward the path.

Alec heard him slamming the door behind him as he clearly walked away from him. Forever.

He had just lost his only chance to be happy and to love again. He had just thrown away the only man he had ever felt close to his heart, the only one that he could have maybe opened up to if he only had dared to try, to risk.

Magnus had been right. Love was for the ones who were willing to lower their walls and let somebody in, really in.

The sadness and the realization of having lost Magnus hit him like a storm as he raised his thighs against his chest, lowered his forehead on his knees and cried.

\----- x -----

Jace had been waiting for Alec to call him to let him know when he and Magnus would have arrived at the wooden gate, to pick them up. But Alec still hadn't called him and it was growing dark.

_Strange_. Jace thought. Alec was meticulous and he knew too well that walking in that path at night in early spring, with the ice and the snow melting wasn’t really the best thing to do.

He dialed his number. Voicemail.

He decided to go anyway. They shouldn’t be that far.

“Hi Jace! Welcome back. Where are you going?” his boss said while Jace was getting into the Jeep.

“Picking up Alec and that photographer.”

His boss gave him a puzzled look.

“What?” Jace asked.

“The photographer has already left. Yesterday afternoon. I picked him up on my afternoon shift. I left him directly at the airport, he had changed his ticket while he was in the car with me.”

“Oh. Thanks. Alec must have forgotten to tell me.” Jace tried to disguise his surprise and anxiety. 

He got in the vehicle, started up the engine and rushed it car out of the parking lot.

_Shit Alec! Why hadn’t you called me? Shit! Shit! Shit!_

Jace was cursing through his gritted teeth as he was speeding the car up toward the Tower. 

He looked at his clock. It was already two pm, the light was lowering and he had to walk to get there.

He was hoping it wouldn’t have been too late.

\----- x -----

Magnus had landed when in New York was still night. He had gone straight to his loft and started to select the photographs to print.

He couldn’t get his mind from Alec. He was everywhere. Magnus had taken so many pictures of him, even when they weren’t with the killer whales.

He selected only the ones with water and animals and sent them directly to the printers.

Magnus knew he had been hard on Alec. He hadn’t even left him the chance to recover from the panic attack.

He shrugged off his thoughts and kept on watching his pictures until he had fallen asleep on his desk.

The phone buzzed in his pocket.

What time it was? How much had he slept?

He groaned and picked up the call without checking the id.

“Magnus Bane.”

“Mags? Is everything fine?”

“Oh Cat. Yes. I…I have just gotten up. I…my plane had landed during the night so…” he was still half asleep.

“So… you hadn’t called me once during your stay. I guess Mr. Lightwood wasn’t that bad…and from the pictures you had sent me he looked handsome too...”

Magnus could feel the tears gathering in his eyes. For the first time since he had left Alec he realized that he had fallen in love with him and that he had lost his chance.

As tears started streaming down his face he found himself desperately sobbing on the phone.

“Mags? What’s wrong babe?...”

“I…fucked up everything…another time Cat. But…this time… I hurt one of the best persons I had ever met. I…”

The images of those days were coming out from Magnus’ mouth like a swollen river.

When he had finished his breathing was even and he wasn’t crying anymore.

“You can still give him another chance to explain if you feel like he might deserve that.”

“If he hadn’t trust me enough to tell me, what possibilities we have to build anything?”

Cat was just listening.

“How bad was the place where he was?”

“Really bad I think.”

“Then he deserves another chance. And no one knows this better than you. I have given you tons, before you had let me in.”

\----- x -----

Jace had walked as faster as he had ever done to get to Alec.

As he approached to the lighthouse he could see that the lights were on and that the door was open.

“Alec? Alec, are you in?”

He rushed to Alec’s room and to the bathroom, but he wasn’t there.

Then he noticed a bottle of rum on the table. 

Had Alec been drinking?

He never did and he must have been really drunk to leave the door like that, completely open.

Jace ran down the slippery path that led to the small stony beach. It was dark and he fumbled in his pocket to take the torch out again and switch it on.

That’s when he spotted him. Alec was entering into the water, the waves already up to his hips. He was stumbling and if Jace hadn’t been quick he would have probably fallen face down into the ocean.

Jace raced toward him and strongly grabbed his upper arm, pulling him out.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing Alec? Are you trying to kill yourself?” Jace was panting.

Alec was standing, his eyes lost in the nowhere of the black horizon. He was shivering from the cold on his wet clothes. He hadn’t turned to face Jace and he hadn’t answered him.

He was feeling dizzy from the alcohol, but the tearing pain he had hoped to anesthetize with the rum, was still there, stinging, sharp and strong.

Jace was looking at him, he hadn’t seen him so wrecked since the day he had found Max floating in the water. Alec had been crying, his eyes were a bit swollen and his lips were slightly trembling.

“He’s gone Jace.” 

Who was he talking about? Max again? Or Magnus?

“Alec, what happened? Hey… talk to me Alec, please, talk to me.” and he tugged at his shoulder. 

“He… he asked me who Max was…but… but I…I would have wanted to tell him, everything, but… I was scared Jace. I never talked about that to anyone.”

Jace sighed. He had always known that this moment would have come. Alec had buried his secret inside his heart, but everyone knew that this would have killed him, sooner or later.

“I wanted to… I really wanted to, but… I just couldn’t…” Alec’s voice strangled in his throat.

“Is this why he went away yesterday?”

Alec nodded.

Could it be really possible that Magnus had gotten so deep inside of him in just two weeks? 

Jace smiled. Clary had caught him at _Hi, my name is Clary_. 

“Is he so important for you?” 

“I love him Jace. I love him.” 

Jace encircled Alec’s waist with his arm and let his body sag against his side. 

He carried Alec home, put him under the hot water of the shower, made him a cup of coffee, held his head back while he was throwing up and covered him with a blanket as he had fallen asleep on the couch, without ever saying a word.

He gently removed a lock of Alec’s hair from his forehead and called Izzy.

\----- x -----

“How was your stay Magnus?” Tessa hugged him.

“Really good. I had a nice time.” Magnus took off his coat and entered in the kitchen.

“Maaaaagnuuuuussssss is here!!!!!” one of the kids shouted.

Suddenly a horde of kids was running down the stairs and in a moment Magnus had literally been thrown on the floor, the children stuck on him like leeches.

He knew how to make them move.

“I have presents...in my bag, down there”, the bees flew away in search of the honey.

“Are you ready?” Magnus turned to Tessa.

“I am. Thank you darling, for everything you had done for us.”

“Thank you for having made me the man that I am now” he smiled and stretched his arm to grab Tessa's hand “Let’s go. The exhibition will start in about an hour.”

“Imasu came searching for you”, Tessa told him as he was driving. Magnus didn’t even flinch. “He wanted to say that he was sorry… for… well, you know what”

“Too late. He had plenty of time to do that. Probably he needs something.”

Tessa laughed. “Yes, you’re right. I thought the same too.”

The photos were incredibly beautiful.

Magnus had decided to have them printed in different sizes and the interior designers had made really a great job. Some of them were smaller and hanging close, others were big as posters and at the end of the largest room, there was a wallpaper with the killer whale and her calf.

There were many editors and directors of the most important nature magazines Magnus had worked with.

“Miss. Tessa?” the doorman of the building gave her an envelope “this has just been delivered.”

“Oh thank you.” She opened it and her mouth went dry. Inside there was a check with an exorbitant sum written on it and there was also a note behind it.

_To Magnus._

_I am sorry, for everything_.

Magnus had noticed her changing expression from the other side of the room.

“Tessa, is everything all right?”

She gave him the check and the note.

“I told you. He needs something and he thinks he can _buy me_ , with his money.”

“Give it back to him.”

“Absolutely not. We need them and he offered them freely. This is my payback. I will take his money before he changes his mind and I will say no to anything he had come to ask for.”

“You can keep the photos in this way?” she asked.

“Yes.” He whispered.

“Mr. Bane, there’s a woman asking for you.”

“Who is she?”

“I don’t know. She wouldn’t tell me her name, she just told me that she needed to talk to you. She said it’s about the note.

_Ah, yes, the note. The time has come._

A black-haired woman was looking outside a window.

“He sent you cause he knew I would have never let him in and ruin this day. Well, my dear lady, I’m sorry if you are only his Mercurius … You can tell him I will keep the money and you can tell him that he can go fuck himself elsewhere. Did I made myself clear?”

The young lady turned in the direction of the voice.

“Are you talking with me? Are you Magnus Bane, the photographer?” she asked.

“Of course I am talking to you madam. Do you see someone else here? And of course I am Magnus Bane. You came asking for me, not the other way around!”

_He is so unpleasant._

“So you’ve read the note?” 

“I did and tell him it doesn’t change anything. He can’t buy me with his money.”

Her eyes turned darker and her face tensed.

“I thought you would have been willing to give him another chance”. 

She pointed her forefinger on his chest and pushed hard while talking.

“Now I am actually glad that you won’t. You don’t deserve him. Who the hell do you think you are to assume that my brother would have wanted to _buy_ your forgiveness with those money? I am going to tell him that he has lost nothing, nothing at all.”

It had taken a moment for Magnus to register the word _brother_.

_Brother? Sister? Imasu hadn’t any sister. He was an only son._

“Who are you?” 

“Are you kidding? You have just told me what to tell my brother and now you’re asking me who I am? You’re not only rude, you’re dumb.”

She turned her back to him and rushed toward the elevator.

Magnus grabbed her arm.

“Please, tell me who you are. I… I … think I have mistaken everything” his voice was low now and calmer.

He seemed anything like he had been just a moment before.

The lady was facing him again and looking straight into his eyes “I ---- AM ---- ISABELLE ---- LIGHTWOOD, do you need me to spell it for you? Or did you understand now?” she had put so much hatred in her tone that Magnus lowered his gaze.

What had he done? She was Alec’s sister. Now that he was looking at her more intently she shared with Alec the same black hair and the same big eyes.

“I… I am sorry Isabelle, I… thought you were someone else.”

She cocked her head and looked at him in disbelief.

“Did he ask you to come here?” 

“You don’t really get it, do you?” she was getting angry again “My brother would have never, ever asked me to do such a thing. He doesn’t even know that I am here. Why do you think he hadn’t signed the note if he had wanted you to know that it had been him?”

“I… I don’t know Isabelle. I don’t know anything. Help me. Will you? Why did you come here?”

She sighed.

“The night you were gone, Jace had found him drunk, standing inside the water. If Jace hadn’t come in time, he could have stumbled and drowned.”

Magnus’ eyes grew wide as sausages.

“I don’t know what happened between you two, but he was desperate because he believed that… that he had made you think that he didn’t trust you enough. I wanted to tell you that… it’s not always a matter of trust. Sometimes it’s just that the pain is too much. Too much to bear and too much to share. This was all I have wanted you to know, all you needed to know from me.”

She called the elevator and disappeared behind his sliding doors without even giving Magnus a chance to say anything.

\----- x -----

“Hi Jace, thank you for picking me up” Magnus said a bit intimidated.

He had called Jace the night before to ask him if he could come and pick him up at the airport.

“Hi Magnus.”

He had expected the – _If you hurt him again_ —talk, he had expected rage and fury, but Jace had remained silent for most of the way, which thing Magnus was really thankful for. 

The Jeep stopped in front of the wooden gate and Jace inhaled a deep breath.

_That’s it_. 

“No one of us knows what had really happened that day, he had never told anyone before. Not me, not Izzy. Anyone. I don’t know if he ever will, but maybe…you are the right one. Just… go easy on him ok?”

Magnus smiled and nodded.

\----- x -----

Alec was stepping down from his boat, he rapidly glanced at the id on his phone and rolled his eyes. 

“Again?” he chuckled.

“Again, yes.” Jace chuckled back.

“Jace you have called me like what? Twenty times in a day?” 

“It was your first day sailing again… alone… in the middle of the ocean…”

Alec started walking his way back up the path toward the lighthouse. 

“Jace… how many times do I have to tell you? _I WAS DRUNK_! I am not going to throw myself in the water …. Willingly… ok? Now… will you just let me go home, have a nice warm shower and maybe a cup of coffee? I’m… better…ok? Not fine, but better. Now… let me have my coffee…ok?”

He closed the call and Jace, on the other side of the phone thought _Go do your job Magnus, please._

“Do you mind if I join you? For the coffee?”

The phone dropped from Alec’s hands. Magnus was leaning on the lighthouse wall.

_Damn Jace, you could have warned me._

Alec’s heart was stammering in his chest and his hands were trembling while he was fumbling with his keys to open the door.

Magnus placed his hand on Alec’s one, grabbing the keys.

“Let me do this”. He unlocked the door and entered, Alec silently following him behind.

“I take it as a _yes_ , since you’re not objecting anything” Magnus removed his jacket and placed it on a chair.

Alec removed his own jacket too and went to the sink. His hands were still shaking as he opened the tap to fill the kettle with water.

“Max is… was my little brother.” 

Magnus wasn’t certainly expecting this. Not now, not like this, not so quickly.

“Alec, I… you…don’t…”, but Alec continued.

“He was almost seventeen when he came here to spend his summer holidays, with me, two years ago and I was so excited because Max had never wanted to stay with me before, alone I mean. We went sailing, watching the killer whales and we had some really good brother-to-brother talks. He had just found a girl he was in love with and who loved him back.” 

The room was filled with the smell of hot coffee.

“Max…had never been a good swimmer, well he couldn’t swim at all. He was a breakdancer and he was so good at that and….” 

The pain of the memories was starting to break Alec.

“….and the tidal ranges in that month were about 40 feet…but…I….I…. Forgot to tell him…” his voice cracked.

His breathing quickened as his heart was racing faster.

Usually, at this point, he would have stopped himself, pushing the memories away, terrified by the panic rising. 

He had never dared to relieve that again. Not when he was fully awake.

Images and sounds had been haunting his dreams, yes. But he had never recalled that day consciously.

He forced himself to focus again.

Magnus just stood there in silence the ghost of what might have happened next was taking shape in his mind.

His heart clenched at the thought of what was to come and at the memories of that day when Alec had seen him half way into the water.

“I think I…I just thought he would have never gone to the beach alone without me. I…I don’t know why…but that morning …he went alone. When I realized he hadn’t come back for lunch I thought he might have gone around with his bike, but the bike was still leaning to the lighthouse walls….”

His breaths were coming out in heavy puffs, quicker and quicker.

“…Then a terrible realization struck my mind…the morning high tide…I ran down to the beach with my head screaming pleading prayers to whatever God up there to be proven wrong”

His all body stiffened in pain and his fist gripped the border of the counter so tightly that his knuckles went white.

“…his body was floating in the retiring tide…prone on the surface of the water, his clothes and hair were soaked and wet…when I grabbed him …he wasn’t breathing. I placed him on the ground and tried CPR more than once …but…it was all useless. He was already dead. I had arrived too late.”

Tears were streaming down Alec’s cheeks.

Magnus was crying too. He closed the distance between them and gently caressed Alec’s strong back with his hands.

“It wasn’t your fault Alexander…”

Alec was sobbing loudly now “if I had only warned him…I…he…he wouldn’t have died Magnus…I…I …it had been all my fault Magnus…”

“No…it had been a terrible accident. That’s all. Fault…is when you do something on purpose Alexander. Come here.”

He tugged his right arm and Alec sagged pliantly into Magnus’ arms.

He kept on crying all the tears he hadn’t let himself cry in those two years until it was deep dark outside and until his breath had synchronized with Magnus’ one.

They were still standing beside the counter, their bodies pressed together in a tight embrace, Alec’s head resting on Magnus’ shoulder.

“I’m sorry I ran away” Magnus whispered.

“I’m sorry I hadn’t come to the exhibition, but…I wasn’t at my best on that day…”

“Your sister told me…”

“Izzy? She. .she had come to talk to you?” Alec raised his head and looked Magnus in the eyes.

“Mmm. Your sister in an amazing woman, Alexander… she had explained me that…maybe it wasn’t everything about trust. And she had been right. I…I am sorry I pushed you so much on that day…I think…I was feeling betrayed…I have my issues too…”

Alec was smiling, his eyes were red and still watery “you couldn’t know…”

Then one of his big hands was gently cupping Magnus’ cheek.

They were so close.

“…now I think you have told me everything I wanted so desperately to know…” Magnus was staring intensely at him.

“…no…not everything…”

Could there really be _more,_ than what he had already told him?

“…I didn’t tell you why… I…panicked so badly when I saw you in the water…”

“…wasn’t it the flashback…?”

“…yes….and no….”

Magnus waited patiently and silently for Alec to put his feelings in words, he seemed agitated now and his cheeks were slightly reddening.

“...when I saw you there…I…realized how much you mean to me…and the fear of losing you drove me insane…I…I think I love you Magnus”

He resisted the urge to bury his face in Magnus’ shoulder again, choosing instead to stare at him as to catch any sign of discomfort. Magnus was even more beautiful when he was smiling. The way his lips lifted upward, the way his dimples crinkled, the warm glow his happiness was spreading around.

His smile was a ray of sunshine in Alec’s dark and lonely place. 

“You know Alexander, another thing you are really great at… is leaving me out of words… it has already happened three times since the day I met you and… it’s not a thing that really happens to me so often…” Magnus was gently stroking Alec’s cheekbone with his thumb, gathering the tears that were still there.

“Let’s see if I can leave you speechless… at least once…”

Magnus tilted up his head just that bit and brushed Alec’s lips, tenderly. Then he licked tentatively Alec’s bottom lip, gently asking to let him in.

Alec let out a throaty sound and then his tongue slid in Magnus’ mouth, as his hands traveled up to his back, sinking in his skin with a mind of their own.

Magnus’ stomach twisted in a knot as their lips started moving in perfect sync, their tongues swirling and licking. Unexpectedly, Magnus’ hand drifted to Alec’s hip. It settled there and pulled him even closer, making Alec inhale sharply. 

When they broke apart for air, Alec rested his forehead against Magnus’ and gathered some much-needed oxygen. 

Alec’s smile was one of happiness growing, much as a spring flower opens.

Magnus could see how it had raised from deep inside to make his eyes sparkle and spread into every part of him.

And with that smile, he was telling Magnus everything.

“I love you too” Magnus whispered in Alec’s breath.

Then Alec pressed his forehead harder on Magnus’, closing his eyes. Both their breaths were shaking.

“Thank you”, he said, in barely more than a whisper.

“For what?” Magnus replied, his voice low and husky from the kiss.

“For being you. For wanting me.” Alec’s voice wavered, as he was taking shaky, shallow breaths.

Unable to contain himself anymore, Alec raised his hands behind Magnus’ neck, holding him there and pulling him into a fiery and passionate kiss.

Magnus hands worked their way around Alec’s waist, feeling each bone, each muscle, tracing each line along his perfect body.

They found themselves in Alec’s bed without even realizing that they had slowly moved away from the kitchen counter. Alec was lying on his back as Magnus leaned and softly made his way down Alec’s neck with kisses, making him whimper in desire and anticipation. 

Magnus was perfectly matching Alec’s body shape, his moves, venturing his hands on Alec’s hips, his chest, his thighs, Alec moaning and shuddering under his touch.

“Feels good?” Magnus gently asked, but no words came out from Alec’s mouth. 

“Speechless. That’s good.” Magnus’ smirked as Alec hooked his fingers in Magnus belt and dragged him down again, raising his hips to meet him half way.

When he was about to unbutton Alec’s shirt, Magnus pulled back just that little bit to look at him.

They stared deep into each other's eyes. They were full of gratitude and love, wander and lust. 

No words needed to be spoken again as Alec shyly nodded.

**Author's Note:**

> Leave me Malec prompts on tumblr at @brightsasstars  
> or send me numbered prompts from this list: https://brightasstars.tumblr.com/post/619981178288619520/fanfiction-trope-mash-up


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